Mind downloading

Pearls of Wisdom

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"Yes, she has trust issues but if you were her, you would too"

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"I don't feel loved. I go through each day and I don't think anybody loves me. And I know it's pathetic but it's the way I feel and I'm too young to feel this way."

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"I would much rather to be hated for who I am than loved for who I am not."

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"Damaged people are dangerous. They know they can survive."
-Josephine Hart

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"Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours."

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I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints, sinners are much more fun.
-Billy Joel -"Only the Good Die Young"

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"I’m the kind of girl that falls into her music, dives into a scene, and runs away from love."

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"Well-behaved women seldom make history."
-Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

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"Sometimes people put up walls, not to keep people out but to see who cares enough to break them down."

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"She's tough. She tries to hide it. She's difficult. But if you make an effort, she's worth it. She's worth the effort."

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"Don't wish me happiness -I don't expect to be happy it's gotten beyond that, somehow. Wish me courage and strength and a sense of humor; I will need them all."
-Anne Morrow Lindbergh

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"if you can't handle me at my worst...then you don't deserve me at my best"

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"It is discouraging how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit."
-Sir Noel Coward

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"Life isn't measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."

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"A woman is like a tea bag, you can not tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water."

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"You change for two reasons; either you learn enough that you want to, or you've been hurt enough that you have to."

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"You've got three choices; give up, give in, or give it all you got"

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"You can't live your life for other people. You've got to do what's right for you, even if it hurts some people you love."

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"Seduction isn’t making someone do what they don’t want to do. Seduction is enticing someone into doing what they secretly want to do already."
-Gojyo (bonus points to who can tell me when/where he said this; HINT:it's not a cannon quote)

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"If you could see what I see, you'd understand. Behind your scars you're still beautiful. Behind your anger your still wishing for a shoulder to cry on. Your scars merely remind you that the past was real. They do not make you who you are."
- Pike to Juno (SxD)

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"I'm not happy when I'm writing, but I'm more unhappy when I'm not."

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"There is only a thin line between Love and Hate."

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"And the words she writes could burn a hole through his heart."

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"My eyes tell secrets my lips will never say"

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"Sometimes you have to forget what you feel and remember what you deserve."

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"If it isn't mad, passionate, extraordinary love, it's a waste of your time. There are too many mediocre things in life. Love shouldn't be one of them."

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"People are like stained glass windows: they sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light within."

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"Somewhere there's someone who dreams about your smile, and finds in your presence life is worth while so when you are lonely remember its true someone somewhere is thinking of you."

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"The prettiest people do the ugliest things."

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"Pray for the dead and fight like hell for the living."
-Mary Jones

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"Giving up doesn't always mean you're weak. It just means that you are strong enough to let go."

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"Never give up on the things that make you smile."

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"A teardrop is insignificant in a pool of water, but it can touch the soul as it runs down someone's face"

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"Sometimes you just want to put other people's happiness before yours, because you love them, because they deserve it."

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"A person is never as quiet or unrestrained as they seem, as bad or as good, as vulnerable or
as strong, as sweet or as feisty.
We are thickly layered, page lying upon page, behind simple covers.
And love; it is not the book itself, but the binding. It can rip us apart."

***

"When I stand up for myself and my beliefs, they call me a bitch. When I stand up for those I love, they call me a bitch. When I speak my mind, think my own thoughts, or do things my own way, they call me a bitch. Being a bitch means I won't compromise what's in my heart. It means I live my life my way. It means I won't allow anyone to step on me. When I refuse to tolerate injustice and speak against it, I'm defined as a bitch. The same thing happens when I take time for myself instead of being everyone's maid, or when I act a little selfish. It means I have the courage and strength to allow myself to be who I truly am and won't become anyone else's idea of how I "should" be. I'm outspoken, opinionated, and determined. I want what I want and there's nothing wrong with that. So try to stomp on me, try to douse my inner flame, try to squash every ounce of beauty I hold within me. You won't succeed. And if that makes me a bitch, then so be it."

***

"She's got her daddy's tongue and temper
Sometimes her mouth could use a filter
God shook his head the day he built her
Oh but I bet he smiled
She loves and lives her life unruly
Tears up that dirt road in a dually
Dangerous? Absolutely
Crazy's got nothing on her..."

***

"I'm the type of girl who will fall for a guy she barely knows; Who will listen to a love song and see his face; Who will look for him wherever she goes. I'm the type of girl who doesn't get over things easily; Who will beat herself up when someone doesn't love her back; Who will cry herself to sleep because she feels she's not good enough. But I'm also the type of girl who is strong; Who can cry her eyes out then forbid them to come back the next morning; Who will blast some old pop song and sing at the top of her lungs because she feels like it; Who will be no one but herself."

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"Dance as though no one is watching you. Sing as though no one can hear you. Love as though you have never been hurt before. Live as though heaven is on earth."

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"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen, nor touched But are felt in the heart."

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"Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall."

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"Speak your mind even if your voice shakes."
-Maggie Kuhn

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"Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I really need it."

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"I'm the girl guys are friends with, not the girl guys date."

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"Sometimes you have to test someone. Not because you don't trust them, but to see how much they'll sacrifice for you. And sometimes you have to let them go;
not because you suddenly stopped loving them, but to see if they love you enough to come back."

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"I'm a hopeless romantic. I believe in wishing on stars, soul mates, and love that never ends, but sometimes, I feel like the only single person alive. I feel so alone. No matter what I try to do, I'm left in solitude. Maybe I try too hard. Maybe I really am hopeless."

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"If you look inside a girls heart, you would see how much she really cries - you would find secrets hidden - best friends and lies, but what you will see the most is how hard it's to stay "strong" when nothing is going right and when everything is wrong."

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"I'm not concerned with your liking or disliking me... All I ask is that you respect me as a human being."

***

"when the rich wage war; it's the poor who die"
-Linkin' park 'hands held high'

Tags

Current

quote post [+2]
*sighs* [+0]
.. I'm done [+0]
Twisted love (another writer's block breaker) [+0]
Dark Night (writer's block buster) [+0]
Love ^_^ [+1]
hey guys! ^_^ [+0]
update of sorts... [+0]
... [+2]
Quote a day are back.. sorta.. [+0]
Beware.. Ranting post ahead.. (haven't seen one of these in a while) [+4]
*gasp* a real post!!! [+0]
Quote a day, and short news.. [+0]
Quote a day (almost missed it!) [+1]
Quote a day with a few extra added in... [+0]
New idea borrowed.. [+4]
I know I haven't been around alot lately but... [+0]
*bangs head on wall* [+0]
it's that time again... Post a week time! [+2]
*happy tears, sad thoughts* [+1]

08 July 2023 @ 10:45 pm

quote post

just had to post these after looking around today...

"What if Prince Charming had never showed up? Would Snow White have slept in that glass coffin forever? Or would she have eventually woke up, spit out the apple, gotten a job, a health-care package and a baby from her local neighborhood sperm bank? I couldn't help but wonder... inside every confident, driven, single woman, is there a delicate, fragile princess just waiting to be saved?" -Sex and the City

"I know I'll never be the girl with the perfect hair, or be able to wear white without spilling anything on it, but that's okay." - Sex and the City

"I wanted to go to him, but I felt like I was tied to the chair. Some part of me was holding me back, knowing I had gone too far, reached my limit." - Sex and the City

"I'm beginning to think I may not be the marrying kind." - Sex and the City

"We could only wonder how she would be able to dust herself off and start over. Over again. And yet we knew we couldn't bear for her not to, and felt ever more optimistic that after all her struggles, she would someday meet her man, her equal: a man with the same charisma, love of life, and humanity she possessed. In the meantime, she'd have her friends. And the knowledge that she deserved the world."-Sex and the City

Tags: quotes

Feeling:

apathetic

Listenin' to: silence...

2 Thoughts | Have Somethin' to Say?

03 July 2023 @ 05:46 pm

*sighs*

okay i'm not feeling well toda.y. found out i got a little annoying bug that's making me itch and am already sore as hell from cleaning the house pretty much top to bottom and still itchy.. :( i'm also.. starting to regret what I did but I felt it needed to be done and.. i'm still dealing with alot fo stress and things that are making it harder and harder for me to keep things up online.. but meh.. life goes on right?

"i'm not hasppy when i'm writing but i'm more unhappy when i'm not" seems to about sum up my life right now and well.. I got reminded last night I have alot to be thankful for and.. well the bigest thing i'm thankful for right now is the fact I have some really awesome friends that really do care about me and well.. it's bene a week of reminders on that front and.. i'm surpised again whne I see how much they really do care...

Feeling:

uncomfortable

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30 June 2023 @ 04:10 pm

.. I'm done

okay i'm done for now.. don't look for me, don't text m.. don't try to contact me for a few days.. if I wish to talk to you I will message you when I feel like it so.. don't go looking for me or doing anythnig stupid now.. I know you can live without the 'flame' for a while and even if you think you can't.. well to bad cause your going to have to learn to live with it.
*opens her wings and files off to wherever the wind may take her*

Feeling:

indescribable

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02 May 2023 @ 03:29 am

Twisted love (another writer's block breaker)

His back is to me and he is on his way to the door, without thinking I pick up the glass vase to my right and hurl it at the door. It shatters in an explosion of glass and puff of petals as it crashes into the wall right beside the door as his hand comes up to rest on the door knob. He goes completely still and the muscles in his back stiffen "Don't fucking walk away from me.." I say in a way to soft tone of voice that seems out of place after such a furious action. He knows when I use that tone i'm beyond fury or even anger.. and he reacts just as I was hoping he would. He turns and looks at me with clear anger in his stormy dark blue eyes as he stalks back over and in one quick action grabs both my wrists in his right hand and forces them over my head as he uses his body to pin me to the wall. "Don't Push me tonight, I already told you we are through" He says in a low tone of voice.
I tip my head up and meet his furious eyes with my own anger filled ones and defiently tip my head back so I can hold his gaze "Why? becasue I told you I don't want you?" I nearly spit at him. As I do so I can feel the air in the room chance around us, it almost seems to crackle with anger, hate and discust. I can see in his eyes my words both hurt and angered him. As he hears them his fingers tighten around my wrists to the point I know i'm going to have bruises from his fingers, and I have to bite my lower lip so as not to let out a gasp of pain. "Yes, i'm done with your lies Carrie" He says in a tone filled with venom and hate as he lets go of my wrists and turns his back on me again. As he does so and starts to walk away I slide down the wall and end up proped up against it as tears finally come to my eyes. "I don't want you Kai.. I need you" I say in a low pain filled voice as I watch his back. He pauses again and half turns his body and looks completely stunned by my words. "Say that again..?" he asks in a low tone filled with disbelife almost like he can't believe what he just heard. "I don't want you Kai.. I need you or.. I did" I say to him as the tears that were glistening in my eyes finally stream down my cheeks as I sits crumpled against the wall.
A look of great pain comes over Kai's face as he walks back over to her and sinks to his knees in front of her. He reaches out to wrap his arms gently around her shoulders and pull Carrie into his lap with her head against his chest as he sits back and rocks her gently "i'm sorry Baby.. can you ever forgive me?" Kai asks in a low, tear filled voice as he holds her close and finally seems to realize just how close he came to losing the best thing in his life.

Tags: short story, twisted love

Feeling:

contemplative

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02 May 2023 @ 02:03 am

Dark Night (writer's block buster)

After a long, passion filled night I can feel her tears hitting my chest in the darkness. I reach up and gently brush a tears from her soft cheek "Why are you crying Angel?" I ask softly as I run my other hand through her long, black hair though I can't see it. Her body is hidden from me by the shadows of the dark night.
"It's nothing love" she replies softly but in actuality.. there is much more going through her head as she leans down and buries her face in the side of her lover's neck. "I'm sorry the last words you are going to hear in this world is a lie." She thinks to herself sadly as she inhales softly against his neck. She can smell the scent of their recent lovemaking in the air, as well as the scent of his sweat. but the sweetest scent of all.. no Human can smell; it is the scent of the life's blood running through his veins. She places a soft kiss on the main artery of his neck and the last thing he feels is her needle sharp fangs sink into his flesh and her hand pressing down on his chest as he instinctively arches his back as her fangs slide home. After a few moments she detracts her fangs from his neck and says in a low, sad tone of voice "i'm sorry that the only sort of angel I can be is the angel of death."

Tags: dark, writer's block. random story. vamp

Feeling:

contemplative

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05 April 2023 @ 03:42 am

Love ^_^

ok so.. I could sleep though I know I told you i would.. and I did try so.. yeah now i've been up fro a bit and surfing and I stumbled upon something i just had to share. hope you guys enjoy it and I think it's a great explainatino of the unexplainable felling of lov.e. and I hope you al lagree with me or share yuor thoughts :)

the owner is Here and here is the poem/story.

Love

Someone asked me what is love
is it good, is it bad
is it awesome, is it terrible
I honestly didnt know how to answer them.
I finally desided love is the most complicated of all emotions
Love is kind
love is harsh
love is wonderful
love is terrible
love is a cure
love is a sickness
love is LOVE
love is hate
love is meaningful
love is pointless
love shows the best in people
love shows the worse in people
love makes us speak truth
love makes us lie
love understands everything
love confuses everyone
love builds your life
love tears your heart down
love makes you smile
love makes you cry
love makes us cuddle
love makes us hit
love makes the world go round
love makes the world go crashing down
love makes things simple
love makes things impossible
love is always worth it
love is never worth it
love makes us smarter
love makes us stupid
love is enlightening!
love is BLIND
make love not war
make war out of love
love encourages
love scares
love is peaceful
love creates fights
love is soothing
love is tough

...and above all
Love is always worth it
because you become a better person
everytime you love someone
from the simplest careing for a friend
to the deepest desire to love someone til the world ends
from the unconditional love of a child
to the complicated love of the gods
there is...no meaning to love
love means...everything

No matter how much it hurts you, or makes you cry
tries your spirt, and splits your soul.
Love is always worth it...because what doenst kill you
makes you stronger
And however long it takes
you will be, a better person because you lived, though love.
Werent afraid to make mistakes, choices and try again.
And...above all, loved someone no matter what people thought.
You would die for that person...but you would also live for them.
That...is the true meaning of love...

I found the ending just touch so.. I have to say love you Baby and hope this makes you smile and anyone who reads it think as well :)

Feeling:

sleepy

1 Thought | Have Somethin' to Say?

19 December 2022 @ 08:31 am

hey guys! ^_^

hey folks, new header image is up.. it took me a while to decide what to do with the text and I know the lest set of text is a bit blurry but overall I like the way it came out.. :D
that set of 'quotes' just came to me as I was doing some christmas online events with one of my RP chars profile on Gaia... Funny enough she is a fallen angel in love with a vampire so.. it fits her quite well since the way we are playing it.. she is an adiction to him (well her blood is) so in a way she is both his saving grace and damnation.. (the other part of the story is to long to get into here but trust me she 'saved' him at one point but the cost they are still paying for it XD )

hm lets see.. news for me. .I got most of it worked out and it seems gonig to see my family for the week I got off from work is looking more and more like it's possiabe.. which i'm glad for since I missed them.. 'specially since I did not and will not get to spend the 2 holidays that to me scream family with them (thanksgiving and christmas)

also I got a full payed hour of overtime at work and am getting pretty much 32 hours a week at least so that's good, i've also been playing WoW again, and am heavily into 3 of the RP's with my friends again now tohugh I cna only really post when i have a day off. I also was able ot buy one of the mostly dead guilds off a friend in Gaia so now I have my first guild to run.. and gotta figure out where to take the story and what to do withit next since.. i'm sorta picking up from where a few of us left it since I loved the story idea we have in the worst so.. yeah also gonna be working on that.. hm dunno anything else to write about besides i've still been sick.. off and on for the past 3 weeks or so..

also I if you didn't see the PM I sent you Ang I got the box a few days ago and I want to thank you again for the gifts ^_^ I really loved the can and so am gonna be finding a use for it.. :D also.. i'll see if I can dust off some plotbunnies or plotKappa's for the book.. XD

Feeling:

artistic

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28 November 2022 @ 11:49 pm

update of sorts...

ok folks not sure how much is gonna get put in here since i'm tired and just got home from work (and since I only mainly was planning to make a post with a quiz I borrowed from

anguisel ) but well life in a glance.. i've been sick for about a week or so but.. other then that life has been fine and i've been well if not just busy and tired. (and don't worry folks i'm almost fully better now.. only have a cough that won't seem to scoot just yet.. x_x )
if any of you were wondering.. things got cleared up from my last post.. i was just upset and a little hurt but that's all fine now as well.
we were having problems with our wireless internet so.. last night we finally decided to go back to cords for the comps.
work has been.. well work but for the most part not to bad and fun, the best thing I saw recently was got a go-bakc of spotted dick and hard sauce XD (for those of you that don't know.. look em up.. or hm.. maybe I should just tell you.. .*shifty eyes* one is a bread pudding and the other is a sauce for said 'pudding' that has liquor in it XD )

um... still sorta active in Gaia if I am able to find the time to reply or don't get sidetracked... but you will most likely see me RPing if i'm there rather then just posting or talking alot anymore.. sorry guys but.. I tend to try and do everything I wish to keep up with in either the few hours I have off or on my days off but recently those have been few and far between (my 'typical' day will be work from 2pm to 11pm, come home and eat and spend a few hours winding down and trying to catch up on a few of the things i'm doing, then read till I faceplan in the book (which tends to be at like 4-5am) then get up, shower and do it all over again... ) so yeah i'm still working on getting used to my shedual but it's kinda hard when it changes weekly and i never know till one day before the next week what my week is gonig to look like.. :(
so yeah folks not trying to ignore some of you just not used to working and it's making me have alot less time.

hm next part.. wasn't able to go see family for turkey day but.. i'm trying really hard to get my boss to give me a few days off in a row around Christmas or new years so I can spend it with my family, as odd as this may sound.. I am starting to get a bit 'homesick' or more so.. 'family sick' since I miss em and want to see them again but haven't been able to in about 8 months if not a bit more.. so yeah.. i'm hoping i'm able to get either a few days before or a few days after chistmas off so i can go spend it with my family.

hm.. now ot put up the quiz I think... and yeah so.. this is a post letting you all know i'm not dead just felt like I have been for a while and my heads felt like i'm spinning in circles but.. at least my feet don't bother me anymore and I get along well with my co-workers and the people there for the most part are nice so.. yeah now the quiz! (oh and folks.. feel free to just give me a nudge or a poke if I forget to update here for a while.. i tend to lose some of the places I need to update in the sea of things i'm doing recently XD )

Your rainbow is strongly shaded red.

What is says about you: You are a passionate person. You appreciate energetic people. You get bored easily and want friends who will keep up with you.

Find the colors of your rainbow at spacefem.com.

</lj>

Tags: quiz, rl, update, work

Feeling:

drained

Have Somethin' to Say?

08 November 2022 @ 01:01 am

...

(dear friends.. feel free to ignore this post.. I had to just get it out and.. you all should know by now I don't like making posts private unless it's needed.. and just had to get this out tonight so.. no need to reply.. really though feel free to if you like)

.. God dammit.. you knew I would be back in an hour and that.. I was so looking forward to talking to you yet.. just cause I changed my icon but couldn't reply.. you logged out though I did get back only 10 minutes after the time i said I would be around..
...
..
.
.
.

and wanna know the kicker..? I was in such a happy and warm mood cause I knew or.. thought I did that you would be around when i got back and silly me thought we might actually be able to squeeze in some time together tonight..

Silly of me I know babe and.. i do know it's been rough on us both with me working and us both busy but.. i've been trying to bridge the gap and stretch when i'm able to and now.. it's clear to me you could not tonight nor.. have you tried much recently...

"To me, you're soo much more than worth the fight. But I can't promise that I'll be here fighting forever."

Tags: rant, rl

Feeling:

disappointed

2 Thoughts | Have Somethin' to Say?

02 October 2022 @ 12:21 am

Quote a day are back.. sorta..

Ok guys.. i'm not gonna lie.. i'm lazy at times and.. i'm trying to pick bakc up some things i've bene forgetting to do or.. avoiding playing with because I needed time to sort out my head and also distance to put things bakc in perspective now.. I really love the idea of sharing my quotes with you guys still but.. i'm starting work this weekend and.. the training for ti so honestly.. i'm not sure how often i'm gonig to get a quote up or.. how tired i'm gonig to be after all of that so.. Quote a days are turning into quote a wekk now since I know i will be able to kepe up with that much better. but I have decided to put more thne one quote in these posts wnhe I make them so i hoep you al lenjoy nad yes. .they do all still mean something to me and. .will be dependant on my mood at the time but.. hoep you guys still have fun with em.

Now on to the quotes!!!

"A teardrop is insignificant in a pool of water, but it can touch the soul as it runs down someone's face"

"I love you, and because I love you, I would sooner have you hate me for telling you the truth than adore me for telling you lies."

"The walls we build around us to keep in the Anger also keep out the Love."

"Sometimes people put up walls, not to keep people out but to see who cares enough to break them down."

"Baby.. you mean the world to me"

Tags: love, quote a day, quote a week, tears, walls

Feeling:

mellow

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25 September 2022 @ 05:35 pm

Beware.. Ranting post ahead.. (haven't seen one of these in a while)

A note to the readers.. (if any of you are still left) none of this is directed at any of you lovely people i'm.. just pissed off about what has been going on and today.. was a bad day for it to happen again..
ok first off.. there was an agreement when i moved in with my rommies a few months ago that I would do dishes and they would pay a part of my food bill until I got a job and could handle it on my own, that was all fine and worked alright for a few weeks until it started slowly turning into "oh it's a mess in the kitchen, it's Phoe's job so we don't have to worry about ti and can make as much a mess as we want and not fucking care"
so yeah. it's slowly been turning into if.. something is in the kitchen it's my job to clean it up no matter if I ate, had a part in it or.. even was told it was my job.. (honestly.. it went from "ok you only have to wash, dry and put away dishes" to.. "oh you have to clean the stove, clean the counters after we make a nasty mess and make sure to take out the trash and decide what's for diner tonight as well without us telling you those are your areas to take care of as well"
Litrally.. i came downstairs today to find a kitchen that .looked like someone set off a nuke in it.. the counters were all a mess with like.. mayo, bread bits and tuna on them, the trash was overflowing to the point it was on the floor and they couldn't be fucked to pick up a new bag and put the bits they knew were gonig to overflow it into a new one.. the sink was full and smelled of fish and.. the pots they used last night were left open on the stove not even put to soak so.. that was all a huge mess that took me almost an hour to clean up and.. I had just cleaned up the kitchen yesterday as well..
I only have one thing to say to you guys "fuck you, I came here with the understanding I would be treated like a friend and cared about not be used again and treated like a fucking slave to you and a person who has to clean up all your messes because you are to fucking lazy to pick up a sponge and clean up a spot you know damn well is gonig to try and be a nightmare to clean and.. you don't even tell me about it either till.. I 'discover' it later."

No Love;
-Me

P.S. Oh yeah. .just because you are a jeaulous fuck who can't have the balls to talk to the person you are living with and.. sort out things you are frustrated/ pissed about DOES NOT give you the right ot insult me or 'make fun of' my relationship with my Babe either.. nor does it give you the right to be cruel or do you have ANY leg to stand on about judging him you Bitch.

Tags: angry post, rant

Feeling:

infuriated

4 Thoughts | Have Somethin' to Say?

12 September 2022 @ 09:54 pm

*gasp* a real post!!!

Ok Guys i'm going to start this out by saying I am in an odd mood tonight, and the one I have been turning to talk and.. brought me a sense of stability and calmness i can not bring myself to burden tonight. I do not apologize for how this post is going to turn out so if you are not in the mood to read me sorting out my head and feelings again then please stop now. ( Real life/relationships post under the cut. )

Tags: moods, relationship, rl

Feeling:

calm

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24 August 2022 @ 10:12 am

Quote a day, and short news..

ok guys i'm to tired to think or explain right now but.. the move was good, alot has happened since then, 'specially this past week so.. here is a quote to go with all of that... feel free to comment on it if you like or.. ask what sparked me to pick this one today. i'll put up a real post later on.. after I get some sleep x_x.

"Okay, I`ll admit it, I`m an addict but not in the usual sense of the word, you see I`m addicted to you, when I`m around you I`m on an incredible high & when I`m not with you the withdrawal is unbearable."

Tags: addicted, life, love, quote a day

Feeling:

(Sleepy but happy)

Listenin' to: Tempest by VNV Nation

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24 July 2022 @ 11:54 pm

Quote a day (almost missed it!)

Sorry guys been busy packing and we are signing the last of the papers for the new place as well as getting the keys tomarrow so we can move in Saturday. We should have internet back up Monday night or Tuesday sometime so.. i'll post about the move and new place then.

"Better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all."
-Saint Augustine

Tags: love, quote a day

Feeling:

tired

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23 July 2022 @ 12:46 am

Quote a day with a few extra added in...

ok guys.. these still mean something to me but.. today one of my RP chars got put through the wringer so.. i'm in the mood for some heart-wrenching quotes and couldn't pick just one so.. ya get a few extras today..

"because I can't stop thinking about you.
I can't get you out of my head...
[can't get you] from under my skin.
because every time I see you,
my heart kicks in my chest."

"being brokenhearted,
is like having broken ribs.
on the outside it looks like nothing is wrong,
but every breath hurts."

"What's wrong? You really want to know? My heart is hurting, truly hurting. I can't help myself anymore. I'm still in pain after all this time. But I didn't have time to stop and take a little while for myself and nobody else. I had to move right along. Now that I've found what I wanted, a nice boy who would give me whatever I ever wanted, I'm scared. I'm so scared that I'm going to get hurt again. Don't tell me I'm being cliche, because I already know that. I don't understand how I can ever get myself out now. I don't want to run away, because I can't hurt him like that. But I really can't stay."

"Passion, it lies in all of us, sleeping... waiting... and though unwanted... unbidden... it will stir... open its jaws and howl. It speaks to us... guides us... passion rules us all, and we obey. What other choice do we have? Passion is the source of our finest moments. The joy of love... the clarity of hatred... and the ecstasy of grief. It hurts sometimes more than we can bear. If we could live without passion maybe we'd know some kind of peace... but we would be hollow... Empty rooms shuttered and dank. Without passion we'd be truly dead."

Tags: heart, quote a day

Feeling:

drained

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21 July 2022 @ 11:58 pm

New idea borrowed..

Ok guy's I got the idea to do a quote a day post from a friend of a friend.. I happened to look at this person's journal so.. I decided to steal the idea and convert it a bit into my own version. Any of these quotes you will see going up will be ones that mean something to me or.. remind me of things and times in my life.. some of them some of you may recognize and.. others you may not but feel free to tell me what you think of the quote or.. if you feel like feel free to asks me about what the quote means to me or the ideas/ times it reminds me of..

hope you guys enjoy these quotes as much as I do and.. also it is my hope that.. since alot of things have happened recently and.. I haven't been writing much that.. some of these quotes may touch some of you or.. maybe give you guys some ideas or.. 'words to live by' if you will.
I'm the first to say i am doing these posts because I liked the idea and am trying to revive my journal a bit but.. i'm also the first to say they aren't for attention or.. anything like that, these quotes all do mean something to me and.. it is my hope they.. may also remind you of things and situations as well.

""Believe in yourself, and if those beliefs fail you, then believe in the ones who love you.""

Tags: life, quote a day, quotes, rl, words to live by

Feeling:

pensive

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17 July 2022 @ 01:55 pm

I know I haven't been around alot lately but...

If there are one or more people on your friends list who make your world a better place just because they exist, and who you would not have met (in real life or not) without the Internet, then post this same sentence in your journal.

ok folks even though I haven't been active alot recently.. you all know there are quite a few of you that. .i consider close friends and.. my online friends are more like family then my real family so yeah. .when i saw this I had to post it up...

Feeling:

apathetic

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13 July 2022 @ 02:59 pm

*bangs head on wall*

*does it a few more times*

..........................
............
......

That is all folks.....

*walks off*

Feeling:

frustrated

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12 July 2022 @ 02:43 pm

it's that time again... Post a week time!

(sorry for the really bad joke...)

ok folks so.. my last week or so at a glance.. ok well my 4th of july was.. rather uneventful, went outside for an hour and watched some of the local displays of fireworks then spent the rest of it on my computer but.. that wasn;t to bad lol.

ok now.. i've been quite busy the past week/ week and a half or so.. you see a friend roped me into(granted not in a bad way.. I gave him the idea for it so.. he asked me to be co-founder of it with him) being co-owner of a guild in Gaia and.. I've been helping him set it up, co-write the setting and also.. been helping out any newbies we have as well as recruiting (most of us in the guild have been recruiting and helping out new people but.. that is just part fo what i have been doing) now the other thing i've been doing first takes a bit of explaining...
at times I will make either Headers *points at my LJ one* or signiture images just because.. I can't find something I like so... I used to do this with an older program called Photosuite III but now I got my hands on a full version of PhotoShop 7 and have been learning it the past week... but the funny thing is.. I made a Signiture image for Crim and.. then one for myself and.. a few of the guildies (also my friends) saw them and.. one friend asked me to make him one for his 'team' in the guild which.. i gladly did cause he is a good friend then.. i made 2 more images for my team (ok before I confuse people.. this new guild has a set of 6 teams in total.. I am leader of one and 5 other friends are leaders of the others) and then.. one of the more annoying team leaders asked me to make one for his team as well and I did but.. unlike the other ones. .I built the 2 i did for him from the ground up (they are the ones on my deviantart now.. Here and here ) and.. then I get a message later on telling me they were to 'girly' and.. that I didn't use the right color scheme... ok let me explain this one. .this ass only told me to use the colors blue, silver and black in the signiture.. he didn't tell me how or.. which way he wanted them so... yeah.. i was quite pissed at that and.. annoyed as hell how. .he just blatently said I wasted 3 hours of m time cause.. he wasn't clear on what he wanted so.. yeah.. my responce was... yeah I fixed em but. .am not going to do another favor for him again cause well.. I was doing it to be nice and.. learn my program as well but.. the way he replied really pissed me off...
so yeah so far this week.. i've made.. 9 banners and 4 were for the bastard who could be bothered to be clear on what he wanted in the first place so I didn't have to waste 4 hours on his shit.. *sighs*

I was doing all of these for fun and.. cause i wanted to help out my friends and learn my program but. .that bastard almost ruined my drive to finish u p2 other projects for. .people who i knew exactly what they wanted so.. yeah.. that was fun but.. *sighs* not like it's that big of a thing to change em it.. just pissed me off cause he was very vague in what he wanted at first and.. basically told me I had free rain as long as I used those colors when.. in actuallity he wanted something very spacific but.. couldn't be bothered to tell me that so.. i wouldn'y waste my time.. *annoyed sigh* ya see i'm fine with doing spacifics you just gotta tell me and i'll try to do it but.. if you exspect me to read your mind well.. all I have to say is fuck you and.. this guy is quite lucky i'm a person who sticks to her word otherwise. .i would of just scrapped the project cause of how rude he was to me...

Tags: banner, gaia, guilds, rl, siggies

Feeling:

aggravated

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01 July 2022 @ 02:59 am

*happy tears, sad thoughts*

ok guys first warning is i'm not sure how much of.. this i'm going to post here... 2nd warning is.. this is both a painful post but.. a situation that also brought hope back to my day though. .i'm still in pain currently but. .we will get to that (and before you wonder or worry.. I didn't do anything to myself nor. did anyone else.. not really just.. a heart hearting pain today...)

ok now.. some of you may know i'm.. dealing with.. *another* looming move.. and some more stress.. but the move will be to a better Area and we all are moving together just... not really thrilled about having to move again...

but the thing today was.. my stress manifested itself in.. some harsh words and bitter thoughts that. .both me and a friend were sharing.. (one of the rare nights you would see me being.. blatently honest and.. not hiding some of my past pain or. .recent stress worries.. as well as.. my destructive behavior..) so.. we kept talking for. .about 2 hour and.. kept getting more morbid and talking about. .loss of hope.. fears, different problems we both have. .our mutual distrust for the world and.. my failing faith in humanity came up and.. I told my friend that I just didn't care any more about alot of things and. .didn't think i would ever find.. one my poupose in life, 2 someone who can put up with all my emotional baggage, scars and.. would stay around long enough to gently poke at my walls till they shattered and.. what he said to me well.. it brought tears to my eyes and... restored at least a part of my faith in humanity but.. more so gave me new faith in my friends and.. the love they have for me.. and.. all of their hopes and.. what.. I am to them.. it.. was touching and made me cry to read but.. it was *exactly* what I needed at that point and for that.. I currently am.. still crying a little but.. so glad to know I.. have people who care that much for me it.. shocked me in the best possiable way and.. i'm very thankful for.. that before going to bed....

Tags: hope, rl

Feeling:

indescribable

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